Tuesday, April 5, 2016

The Garden Wars: Tomatoes

I have a crazy husband who loves nothing more than to prank his children. April is his favorite month because, he believes, April Fool's Day lasts for the entire month.

All photos from Google Images
Richard and Adam have been planting vegetables for six weeks now. Some plants and seed have been replanted two, three times. The reason for such wasteful abandon is that there's an ongoing competition to have the first, biggest, most, best of any thing that grows in the garden.

It makes no difference how much work, money, or cheating goes in. It's being the first and best that count. Finding another way to win is perfectly acceptable--so one could win by having the last strawberry of the summer, if he only thinks to make the claim.

Photos from Google Images
 Hence,every free inch of dirt is a garden. Richard has three--gardens not inches. Adam has four boxes and a small plot. The only limit right now is the amount of ground under our feet. 

Every grain of soil has been amended. Every seed kissed. Every plant watered, sprayed, fertilized and wanded with stardust--Marly does help. Every weed hand-plucked. Every gnat, fly and beetle smote. Every. Well, every thing has been done that can be done. 

At first it's important to have the first seeds sprouting. Then the plants need to be the biggest. Wait, is that a bloom? Heck, yes, the first bloom on the plant. The first fruit. The biggest fruit. The only red tomato! 

Wait, what?  Oh, no! We can't have only one red tomato! Marley came running up to the house shouting at the top of her lungs that SHE had the first red tomato. We had to drop everything and go look. Well, look there! A red tomato (said like I'd never seen a red tomato in my life). They had already eaten the first strawberry. Her poppa was not to be outdone. 

All photos from Google Images
They left and so did he. Straight to the closest grocery store where he bought a bag of medium sized RED tomatoes still on the vine. I did not ask the price...it was too late.  He found the thin green wire that I use in flower arranging and wired  the bought tomatoes to the plant. Yes, he did!

Right under the leaves they went. Wire well hidden. And to add to the insult, he wired another tomato to a different plant. Beautiful work...I had difficulty seeing the wire, knowing it was there. After that, the only thing he needed was patience. The snare was in place and the victims stepped right in!


Karen S said...

This obviously leads to a lot of craziness in your house - but so much fun. What a wonderful idea!

Mary at Fleur de Lis Quilts said...

Oh Karen, you can't imagine the insanity! But it is absolute fun and this year's war is less messy than the water wars, or the summer we spent launching paint balls at each other. We tend to have an on-going game of some sort most of the time. They make for great stories and better memories. It's wonderful that the boys are in their 30's and we're all still playing only now there are more of us!