Saturday, May 7, 2011

Trying to be a Big Girl

A photo from before she became Momma.
Everyone's favorite because she's so beautiful.
It's the day before Mother's Day and naturally I'm missing Momma more than usual.   Just wishing she were still here with us isn't enough, however.  I really felt that I needed to do something to honor her.  Sid sent flowers for her grave, Angie is having a family dinner in a couple of weeks, the other sisters are doing various things, although I'm not sure just what.  
From their 50th Wedding Anniversary
party, dancing the night away!
I still can't bring myself to visit the gravesite very often, and there's little else I can do.  Ah, the tests we "doers" put ourselves through!  I really feel most comfortable when there's a chore or activity to keep me busy.  It's my way of being "a big girl," as she so often said.  I heard those words a few times, since she said them when we cried, and I cried.....and cried.....and cried!  Must have been about 12 when I finally figured out how to be a big girl and slow the waterworks.  Today, in an effort to be a big girl, I decided to collect photographs of mom.  
From 2009 at Rory and Meggan's wedding reception.
So natural.
There aren't many of her without daddy.  But then she was always with daddy, especially after the Alzheimer's made her feel lost.  He sort of grounded her.  Gave her someone to hold onto.    
From 2009, rehearsal dinner....just the way they always were .
After stealing several from sister FaceBook pages, I went through my digital photos.  There aren't many in either places. I don't think I can go through any "real" photos....meaning the developed kind.   But I have a good start.  
These are some of the better ones, with a little caption below.  And because I think of mom's mother often and miss her as much, the final photo is of her.   
Happy Mother's Day!
Ma-ma, or Volcie, who passed away in 1991.
I miss her still and will love her always.

1 comment:

LaDonna and Diana said...

Now you're making me cry. The 50th wedding anniversary picture captured such a they are looking at each other, you can feel the love. What a wonderful example of love lasting!