So after many weeks of trying to figure out what to do, today she had the fire department do a controlled burn. They set the fire and stayed to make sure that no cinders caused unwanted damage. In the weeks that we were waiting for the weather to cooperate, we managed to get much of the house removed. Someone took the metal roof, some of us removed the windows and doors, and others removed some of the cypress woodwork.
Although not all of the "good" parts were taken out--I noticed the crown molding this morning, too late--most of the things that could be recycled was. Most of use who took wood/windows are planning to use them for crafting and upcycling projects.
So today was the day and, though it was a little emotional, I was not as upset by the loss as I expected. Maybe I've moved on, maybe it hasn't found the right nerve.
Maybe it will really hurt when I go back and see just a few brick and ashes.