Monday, February 27, 2017

Mardi Gras: the real story (Pt 2 The Parade)

Part 2 of 3   Read Part 1 here.

The parade is getting near! When you can hear the police sirens, the teens will miraculously appear. They just do. Expect a few extra teens to show up and expect to feed them. About this time the younger kids get antsy. They will begin to jump around, insist on fixing their perches--the wagon, the ice chest, the barricade, your chair, your shoulders--whatever will raise them 8" off the ground. They will then whine because they can't see anything. 

Mardi Gras Bead Tree!                                                                                                                                                      More:

Parades move slowly (there is nothing to see until after the police escort). That means every kid will jump on and off his/her perch several times. You'll have to help them up and help them down, occasionally separate them from each other, and watch kids in all 360 degrees around you at the same time. Other adults cannot be expected to watch their children. They may have "walked a bit" which is code for beer drinking. 

Image result for mardi gras children

The parade arrives! You'll now spend the next hour standing behind children so they don't fall off the unsteady perches and get crushed. If you're good, you'll have a kid sitting on your shoulders during all this. The real job, however, is to catch beads, candy, small toys, etc. to give to those many kids. Be fair--give more to the smallest ones whose bigger siblings snatch stuff out of their hands. It helps to raise your hands up high and shout, "Throw me something, mista!," at the top of your lungs. 

Image result for mardi gras children

Between parades. About the time that the first parade ends, everyone will need to go to the restroom. You should escort them to the nearest bank of porta-potties, approximately 1½ miles away. There will be two kinds of lines: one line of potties, many lines of people. When you arrive, put the bigger kids in lines near you so that you can steal the advantage when one of them finally gets in. 

Pink porta potty, now that is something that even people with phobias would use!: Regardless of what others say, when one person gets a pot, pull the troops back and stick everyone in the same potty. It's the only way to pee and keep tabs on kids. No one is allowed to touch anything, so the big kids should hold the little kids. As soon as one person is finished, "wipe and roll" as in roll out as quickly as possible, keeping a butt on the pot at all times which prevents the smell from wafting up into the room. 

You will do all this again, perhaps three or four times. Pace yourself. Try to keep tabs on your people.


Karen S said...

I have read all the 3 posts and have laughed away. Looks like good fun and hard work. Oh, right, that's what being a parent is!

Mary at Fleur de Lis Quilts said...

Karen, it is both! We talk about and remember the fun, but the truth is that parenting is sometimes hard work. We tend to hide the ugly from others and block the pain from ourselves. Parental struggle is real y'all.

Anonymous said...

Ha! We never found a pretty pink potty! And we certainly never found one this clean. How is it that there can be a row of 20 portapotties and STILL have a line?